betrayedbygod

Prompt 3A

Tue, 22 Aug 2006 20:52:44 GMT

My most powerful memory? The moment I pressed my lips to Christ's cheek in betrayal. The pain in his eyes, and far more horrifying, his bleak acceptance of what was to come. I betrayed the man who's love was purer than gold, and worth far more. And he loved me too. I betrayed the one completely good person in this world, I was chosen by God to hurt him in such a way. My God, I betrayed him with a kiss. A kiss, a sign of affection, became a sign of death. A single kiss that changed the world as we know it. Don't think I haven't paid for my sins, and don't think I don't know exactly what I have done. His eyes tore my soul in half, and I don't think I can ever recover. Can you ever recover from betraying the man who was sent to save mankind?

Prompt 2C

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 07:41:41 GMT

Warnings: Suicide description

Hurt.

There are four kinds of pain, of hurt. Physical, Mental, Spiritual, and Ultimate. I went through all four my last day on earth.

Mental: The anguishing decision of whether you should sentence someone you love to death. Finally deciding that you have no choice but to betray them...with a kiss of all things. A kiss of death. To willingly point the finger at a person who you know was only trying to do good. Trying to save the world. In the end, they didn't even save themselves.

Spiritual: The act of trying to live with yourself after realizing you've made the biggest mistake in your life, that you have killed the Son of God and surely there is no escaping Hell for you. And also realizing that even if you could escape you didn't want to, that you had no reason to, that surely, you deserve to be damned for all time.

Ultimate: The knowledge that you can no longer live with yourself after what you've done. You betrayed the person you loved more than life itself and there's no choice but to offer that life up in repentance, to seal the deal of your damnation at the end of a rope. To take your own life in a misguided attempt at begging for forgiveness.

Physical pain: The snap of your neck as you hang from the nearest tree, those few short seconds before your soul leaves your body and descends into Hell. Your body twitches of its own accord, forcing your broken neck to twist further, causing a blinding pain before everything blacks out and you die, death being a release from the hell you've put yourself through.

Physical pain is nothing. Knowledge is true pain.

Prompt 2A

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 07:00:01 GMT

Warnings: Implied Jesus/Judas

Close your eyes, close your eyes and relax, think of nothing tonight

I stood silent as she fawned over you, until I couldn't take it anymore. Who did she think she was, being so familiar with you, acting as if she knew you, really knew you? She was all but inviting you to her bed! She was a prostitute Christ! You preach love and peace and goodwill and honor and glory and purity...and yet you allow one such as she to practically lay in her lap! I was honest in saying she didn't fit in with the message you had to share, but I wasn't completely honest in all I said.

I was jealous.

I watched you grow from a poor carpenter's son into Christ, Jesus, King of the Jews. I helped you spread your message of love and hope all across the nation, and as I did so, I couldn't help but fall in love with you. It was a pure love, love for you and your message and God. But it was love. I wanted to touch you, to hold you. To be to you as she was, the one you turned to in a time of need. I knew it was never to be, but...I couldn't help it.

Christ, you know I love you. Did you see I waved?

None of them loved you half as much as I do.

It's why I did what I did.

I'm sorry, Christ.

I love you, Jesus.

Random Meme

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 06:38:11 GMT

Ask me a question about each of the following:

- Friends
- Sex
- Music
- Drugs
- Love
- Something completely random

Then post this in your journal.

Intro Post

Sat, 12 Aug 2006 02:41:01 GMT

Hi. I’m Judas. No, not ‘like’ that guy who betrayed Jesus.

I am the guy who betrayed Jesus.

I didn’t think they’d kill Him…rough Him up a bit, lock Him away for a few months, and keep Him from stirring up the crowds. No. They killed Him. He told me it was fate; there was nothing I could do.

God betrayed me. Why did He have to choose me to betray my best friend? I loved Him, wanted to help Him spread his message of love and peace before it all went sour. Before they started calling him Messiah…I’m getting ahead of myself.

I was born in Jerusalem. I grew into times of revolution, of the Roman pigs raping our land, our home. I hated them. They took everything we had, destroyed our temples, forced us to worship their gods, to obey Caesar’s every command.

They were evil.

Then Jesus came. People all over Jerusalem latched onto his message, offering them love and peace and I’m not ashamed to admit I was one of them. He offered us hope in a time where there was none to be found. It’s no wonder that what happened…well…happened.

People began to worship him, call him Prince of Peace, Savior, Son of God. He was sent to us by God, there’s no doubt about that, not now, but…he was a man. Just a man. People went crazy over Him, calling Him Hosanna, King of the Jews…I was scared. Nobody was hearing His message anymore, they just flocked after Him like a celebrity, worshiping Him and not God, but not hearing a word of what He said. He was on the brink of causing an uprising that would have gotten us all killed. I didn’t have a choice! Better one man be slain than thousands. I was wrong.

I guess part of me did know they would kill Him. I just ignored it, telling myself I was doing it for the good of the country. When I saw Him broken and beaten in the jail, however, I knew what I had done. He was the Son of God and He was going to die to save us all. Well, all but me.

I took a rope that day and hung myself from the nearest tree. I couldn’t live with what I had done. I didn’t deserve to.

If only God had left me alone. Let me live in peace. How different would the world be today?

Application Prompt

Fri, 11 Aug 2006 19:23:55 GMT

My greatest fear? My greatest fear has already been realized. I betrayed Him. You know. Him. Capital H and all that. The Lord, Jesus Christ. I sold my soul to the Romans. I took their blood money. I didn't know! I didn't know they would kill Him! I thought they'd just imprison Him, take Him away from the public eye for a while. Let the crowds calm down. I just wanted Him to be safe. Instead I allowed them to kill Him, to beat Him, hang Him from a cross. My God, I betrayed Him with a kiss! They twisted every word He said, He never asked for all this. He had a good message; one the people of Jerusalem needed to hear, one everybody needed to hear. It just got out of hand, and before we could stop it, people were calling Him the Messiah, Son of God, Savior. He was just a man. Or rather, He was the Son of God, there's no doubt now, but he was also a man. He couldn't heal everyone, He couldn't save everyone! He was just one person! I just wanted to protect Him...I loved him...

My greatest fear? I've lived my greatest fear. I died because of my greatest fear.